Friday, February 20, 2009

Book Club Babble


My friends and I recently started a book club. I love to read, but given the fact that I held a full-time marketing job spliced with a full-time mom job, it had probably been a good six months since I picked up (and finished) a book. Now, that I'm working only one full-time job (the mom one) I've had the relished opportunity to feed my reading habit.

The premise of the book club is that one person will choose a title, host a monthly meeting* at their house and create a list of questions for the group to discuss. (*The term "meeting" is held lightly here, as this meeting will most likely be overflowing with wine and food, but I digress...)

The first book chosen was The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Pausch was a college professor with a young family including three children under the age of six who was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. He wrote this book about his last lecture given at his university in which he professed on life lessons, experience, love and advice. According to the author, the lecture and the book was really meant for his children, who would most likely have few memories, if any at all, of their father. Since the book was published Pausch has passed away.

The book was a short read. I read it in two days. The book felt almost like a journal with short chapters filled with great knowledge and inspiring tales. The overarching theme of the book was "fulfilling childhood dreams." What amazed me was that this man did live out all of his childhood dreams in one way or another. He dreamed of being an astronaut, and when that didn't pan out he "settled" for a turn in NASA's "Weightless Wonder," a plane that helps astronauts get used to the feeling of being in zero gravity. It made me realize that just because a dream seems too far out of reach, it is not unattainable as there are multiple ways to achieve your dream. The other thing about this man's experiences is that many of them happened later in his life. That's a soothing thought to an unemployed mom of two who is about to turn 30 this year!! :)

Of course, the book also touched on more fundamental pieces of advice that seem a given but many people actually need a refresher course on. Bits like working well with people, going the extra mile to say thank you and the importance of being earnest. Sounds like an elementary school report card because it is that basic and yet it is so important and often so forgotten.

I didn't mean for this blog entry to turn into a book report! :) But, reading Randy Pausch's words made me view my own life in bigger terms, inspired me to keep pursuing my own long-lost dreams and gave me a new perspective on what is really important during our short time here on Earth.

And, now I have my "homework" done for my book club tonight too. God, I love multi-tasking! :)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Absolutely Necessary

Today my baby boy is showing signs of a late winter cold. Baby colds are so sad because you can't really do much for them. Babies can't take cold medication and they can't even blow their nose. So all you can do is set up the humidifier, get the booger sucker out and slather vapor rub all over their warm pink bodies. And of course, when babies have a cold they are terribly agitated because all they want to do is sleep. But could you sleep if you had trouble breathing, snot running all over your face and no NyQuil to knock you out? So, for the majority of the day I've been trying to make my baby boy comfortable and just get through this. It's funny that it is the days like these that make me want to be a permanent SAHM (as opposed to the temporary, unemployed type) even more.

Of course, the good days are memorable as well. Fun times at the park, playing outside, an especially cute remark on a playdate, etc. But, the sick days when your little one needs extra TLC make just as compelling of a case to be a SAHM. I wouldn't want anybody else giving my little guy the extra love he needs when he's not feeling well, I want to be the one to do that! I want to be home with my kids on their good days and their bad days and I don't think that is too much to ask.

The question becomes how to make it happen. There are tons of families all over this country that survive on one income. Why can't we? I'm not saying it wouldn't be challenging. Some difficult decisions would have to be made for sure. When it comes to my particular situation it seems like the only viable option would be moving to a more affordable house in a more affordable area. There would be sacrifices we'd have to make. But in the end we would be living a life that we want for our family and isn't that what matters the most?

I think sometimes when the mom petitions to stay at home with the kids it comes across that she doesn't want to work anymore. That couldn't be further from the truth. Staying home with your kids 24/7 is a daunting task that certainly takes a physical and emotional toll. As for brain power, well, playing with toddlers doesn't take that much. However, managing the finances, getting the most out of your shopping and keeping the social and medical calendars does! Not to mention, it certainly is a LOT of work! :) But after spending this much time with my kiddos I absolutely couldn't bear to go back to a 9-5, 5 days a week type of job. I mean, I could and would do it if it was absolutely necessary, but I would be miserable and I think my kids wouldn't thrive as much too.

I guess the "absolutely necessary" condition is a subjective one. To one person "absolutely necessary" means you need to get a job to earn an income because you can't afford your lifestyle and to another "absolutely necessary" means you've exhausted all other options and you have no other choice. I'm a person of the latter variety. I want to exhaust all other possibilities before I have to make the choice to go back to a full-time job and put my kids back in daycare.

There are other possibilities...if you think outside of the box that is.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What Did I Do With My Time?

Time is such a funny thing. Some days it goes by in a flash and others it drags on and on. When you have two small kids time takes on a whole new meaning in your life.

"It's time to eat your breakfast."
"Time out!
"It's time to put your coat on."
"Time out!"
"It's time to say good-bye."
"Time out!"
"It's time to take a bath."

You get the gist of it. What I'm wondering is what exactly I did with all my free time before I had kids. I'm sitting at my computer right now because both of my little ones are fast asleep at the same time - something that rarely occurs in this house. What did I do? Well, I cleaned a little - no, a lot. Really quickly too, so I could get a bunch of stuff done before somebody woke up. I did a few tasks on my to-do list that I didn't think were going to get crossed off today. And then, I painted my nails...woo hoo!! So, as I'm waiting for my nails to completely dry I'm wondering, back in the day when all I did was work and come home - what did I do with all that time?

Now that I'm thinking about it I think I went to the gym a lot. Not the make-shift gym I have in my unfinished basement, but a real gym with group classes and other people and everything! :) I went shopping when I was bored...heck, I had extra money back then, why not spend it? I always had well polished finger nails and had took the extra time for masks and pedicures and tanning. Hmm, that's why I look so good in my photos from years ago! ;) Back then time didn't fly by. It didn't drag either (unless I was at work of course!) but it seemed like there was time enough for everything. Now, my baby is about to turn one in a month, my almost 3 year old daughter is registered for preschool and I don't know where the time went!

One would deduce that according to the old saying "time flies when you're having fun," I must be having the time of my life! :) And, I am!

Monday, February 9, 2009

How Far Would You Go To Get What You Want?

This past weekend there was gossip abuzz within my small group of friends. Turns out that one couple got a fantastic opportunity in the form of a job offer that was pretty hard to turn down. Problem was - it was in Texas. They had a very short amount of time to decide if they were going to uproot their young family, try to sell their house and move away from family and friends toward something brand new that offered huge opportunity for success and stability but was shrouded by the unknown.

That got me thinking. How far would you go to get what you want? What I want right now more than anything is a stable and secure scenario that allows me to stay home with my children full-time. For the past few months I have been scouring my brain to find a way to make this happen but all thought processes lead me back to the same reality - it just doesn't work out. Moving never even crossed my mind as a possibility. For one, my husband and I both have family in the area. Very close in the area actually. No given family member is more than 20 minutes away in any direction. For two, we have great friends here. Friends that are like extended family that you can count on and trust when you're in a pinch. For three, we love our house. We built our house with the intention that this house would be where we would stay for a very long time...til our kids were moved out at least. We are very happy where we live and if it all worked out would stay here forever.

But everything has a price. What if you could live a lifestyle that you've always wanted, but you had to be a few hours away from the very family and friends that you lived your whole life being only a few minutes away from? Is it worth it?

Call it thinking outside of the box. Call it being proactive to move ourselves out of a precarious situation into a more stable one. Call it just dreaming of something new and a little bit exciting. Whatever you call it, I think it's empowering to allow yourself every option this world has to offer. Doing this makes you feel like you have a little bit of control when you're feeling so out of control.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Welcome Back To Reality

Before I even start this post, I do acknowledge the fact that my daily blog has been not so daily lately! So here's the deal, I will aim for daily blogs. However, knowing that I have huge responsibilities in life (a 2 year old, a 10 month old and a husband) I am accepting the fact that daily will not always be possible. If I did force myself to sit at this computer before I could finally relax in my comfy bed after an exhausting day, this blog would become a venting outlet and that is not really the point! Just so we're on the same page.

Yes, the past few days have been busy, but what has really been keeping me away from this computer (and my laundry, my household to-do list, etc.) has been a really good book. Do you ever find yourself so engrossed in a book you can't put it down? Even if it's two hours past your normal bedtime, you have to get up early in the morning, your eyes feel like they are going to just shut out of pure protest, you find yourself continuing on to the next chapter. A good book is definitely an escape from reality. Anything that will take your mind off your struggles for a good couple of hours is worth the time. However, this particular book was the last of a four-book saga. To be fair, my total "escape time" reading these books probably adds up to a full week of my life! While I enjoyed my mental journey through this tale, it feels good to finally be at the end and reclaim my life back! I feel like I'm free to get back to getting things done. It was a nice little vacation, but welcome back to reality...as a matter of fact I'm hearing reality waking up from their naps upstairs right now!